#08: It’s a year!

Hardly could I imagine how fast time was! Today is the 1 year anniversary of my stay in Germany!

Man! The last 1 year contains full of memories, surprises, sadnesses and things! Fuck, I am now also 1 year older than the old me. Old and naive!

Now, I am here in Berlin, watching the falling leaves, getting freaked out again of the upcoming winter and going to start a new adventure!

Words cannot describe how I am feeling right now. Even a year passed thru but I still remembered all the feelings by heart! I am still able to feel how ….

[need go back to work now]

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#07: HERE COMES THE LUCKY NUMBER SEVEN …

… Here comes the lucky number seven. It means the seventh post of this blog. It also contains the ambivalent meaning of July. Yes, the seventh month of the year has just arrived at the front door and suddenly it makes me startle. The pace of life and the speed of time have indeed reminded me of how little my time in Germany is left. I consumed lots of money during the past few months (and in years to come), but do I feel regretful about it? I don’t know. To be honestly said. I am appalled at myself and at the fact that the indecisiveness of mine has driven me mad these days.

I am trying my best to achieve better things, and I am sure I will not stop at this mere point. I am so surprised of some little achievements that I am fortunately having right now (I hope they are all trades-offs), but simultaneously it as well requires me to make a decision: Whether pursuing a degree from more well-known university (University of Cologne and Aalto University) or earning little working experiences (Jodel) before starting over at a less known university (University of Magdeburg). I wonder why things just become so spontaneous these days, which puts me in a dilemma and I feel really sorry to reject either of them. I’m not good at giving rejection by the way. I understand the feeling of being rejected … That really hurts.

Procrastination occurs again. Now I am waiting for the best solution, which hasn’t been disclosed yet. Among those things, I still fancy University of Erlangen-Nuremberg because it might be the best fit for my concern.

I hope that everything will be fine in the end, and I will not regret any decision I am going to make.

I hope so.

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#06: tháng năm và năm tháng

[theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBGHZrCxrGQ]

mỗi năm như thường lệ, tháng năm đến là lại suy nghĩ nhiều. nhớ nhiều. tâm trạng vì vậy cũng chẳng khá lên được. dù chẳng thương nhớ ai, nhưng thi thoảng mình lại ngồi ngẫm nghĩ chuyện đã qua rồi thở dài thườn thượt. nhiều lúc tưởng tượng những nỗi nhớ đó dài lê thê như khoảng cách từ đây về tới tận nhà. nhắc đến nhà thì cũng tự hiểu là nhà nào, nhà ở đâu rồi. nói ra chỉ thêm bận lòng mà thôi.

rồi sáng nay dậy sớm thật sớm để đi kiếm tiền. lòng thở phào nhẹ nhõm bởi mùa rét mướt đã trôi qua, tạm biệt những buổi sáng đứng dưới tiết trời dăm ba độ. tay chân và đầu óc có cơ hội được rã đông để nghĩ ngợi. đạp xe trên con đường vắng tanh không bóng người qua lại, mình tự suy, những trải nghiệm này, dù thật tâm không muốn nó kéo dài thêm phút giây nào hết, nhưng quả thật là quý báu, và hứa sẽ trân trọng nó, và hứa sẽ để nó ở góc gọn gàng trong ngăn kí ức tuổi trẻ.

rồi những ngày nắng dát vàng cả một con đường. cả một con phố. cả một cái làng nhỏ mà đều đặn ngày nào mình cũng đến thăm. ngày xưa đọc “cung đường vàng nắng” của Dương Thụy, mình cũng chỉ tưởng tượng được đến vậy thôi à. hồi đó đọc xong chỉ ao ước được một lần trải nghiệm cảm giác ngồi dưới nắng lạnh, hít đầy buồng phổi khí hậu trong lành của xứ này, và ăn một cái bánh croissant. và nhâm nhi một ly cà phê. và ngắm người người qua lại.

hôm nay bỗng sực nhớ đến ao ước vớ vẩn đó, bèn không nghĩ nhiều, chạy một mạch ra hàng cà phê ngồi phơi nắng một mình. vừa ngồi vừa cười. mắc cười vì sao mình dị quá đi. bên cạnh, người ta toàn có đôi có tụ. vài người cũng nhìn mình thắc mắc. ừ kệ tui, tui có cà phê và bánh mì croissant đấy nhé.

những ngày tháng năm cứ như vậy mà trôi. và năm tháng cũng cứ như vậy mà trôi.

dù chẳng năm nào giống năm nào.

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nhân ngày tháng 5, đăng hình tháng 2

#05: CRAWLED MY ASS OFF …

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How fast does the time fly?

I dunno. Even though I kept reminding myself of being concentrating, I did fail most of the times. Tomorrow I will start my second semester in this land. This is not a comfortable feeling to think about at all, when you’re gonna have tons of things to do and work at the same time. Thus I just scowl and hope everything’s gonna be over soon.

So I’ve been away from home for almost 7 months! SEVEN MONTHS! It consists of a HUGE amount of days and weeks, of happiness and sadness, of experiences and lessons learned. I have managed to do many things I had never ever thought I’d do someday.

Well, I do not exaggerate when saying this.

… Remember the very first day I took that once-upon-a-time job. Well, that’s kinda funny, because I had to get up at 3AM, make my own food in rush and take a 2-hour train plus another 45 min bus just to reach the workplace, a factory located at the MOST incommutable town in the world. Well, not really. But I mean it’s still very hard to get to by normal transportation. At that factory, I had to stand consistently 10 hours to make the SUSHI. Such a handy job it is, and I felt my back was being torn. At the end of the day, I had no energy, no feeling, and I walked home with an emotionless and dumb expression so much that I guess I would have slapped anyone in the face if I was poked.

… Remember the first REAL part time job I have. I said REAL to differentiate it from the stupid job being mentioned above. Well, at this time, the story is less tragic, but has more actions. I work by shift, and on any day that I have to work at morning shift, I STILL need to get up at 4AM, make my own food again and crawl my ass off on my bicycle to the warehouse which is located 7KM away from my house. Speaking of the warehouse, all the memories during the time working for Jabil dash back suddenly in my mind. I have to wear the protecting shoes, handgloves and deal with racks, forklifts, barcode scanners and stuff. My job is technically to take a package from the rack based on the given code and put it on the palette nicely. Simple as that. But when it comes to reality, all of a sudden it becomes shitty too much to handle. Some of the packages are, without any luck, 50KG weigh! Stupid! Then I need to use my BIG muscles to pull the hell them over and put them on the palette. Very exhausting. Not mention the fact that everybody speaks German and I don’t understand a thing!!!

Well, of course, I understand SOMETHING! But it’s not enough for making fun or somewhat. It is still stupid, you know … Or I am stupid …

… I intended to write more but at this spot, I feel a bit sleepy. Then I need to sleep soon just to prepare for my lesson tomorrow. I hope I can be awake during the lectures … Hahaha.

Let’s take a look at all the fucking things I listed out at the beginning of this year just to see how things are going with my life. Dun remember all but I guess the progress is not too bad:

  1. Move to another city for living on any purpose (internship/studying/working) except Soest and its surrounding areas. –> Not yet done. I will put more efforts in the second half of this year.
  2. Do exercises everyday to get back in shape. –> In progress. I had registered for a FitnessStudio and I went there quite OFTEN. Well. If I takes into account all the physical work of my parttime job. But I mean, it’s still okay and I have no problem with this spot.
  3. Stop eating Chocolates everyday. I will restrict the volume of Chocolate I eat to 1 bar a week. –> Oh my God! I have to be stricter on this line. I STILL eat Chocolates and it seems unstoppable!
  4. Be able to find a part-time job to support my own living conditions and don’t need any further financial assistance from family. –> I think it did it. Yay!
  5. Be able to communicate fluently and discuss professional topics in English. –> It really depends on my mood but let’s see. I have to be more conversational during the second semester.
  6. Finish B2 German and be able to communicate fluently in daily topics. –> Not too bad. I have finished B1 German and at least I can SOMEWHAT understand my flatmates and colleagues. Keep going Vinh!
  7. Visit at least 03 more countries and 03 more states in Germany. –> I think I did the first part. I went to Italy (7 days), France (5 days) and barely Belgium (1 hours!) Haha! But not too bad. I also visited Hessen by taking a good move to Kassel, and also PASSED by Saarland and Rheinland Pflaz! Oh hell yeah! But I mean, I am not gonna stop at this point. More destinations will be discovered and more places will be conquered! Yeay!
  8. Be able to learn 01 new thing per day and make a separate entry to jot it down. –> I completely failed on this and dunno whether I could make it happen.
  9. Make this blog accessible for others. Currently, it is kept as secret and no one knows I own such blog. –> Not at this time. I don’t think I’m courageous enough to do this.
  10. Not necessary, but will be nice to have: I want a love – a long-lasting true love this year. You know, I have been single for too long 😦  –> No need to mention. I’m forever alone. But what the hell, I want a love so BAD!

That’s enough for today. I’m writing so much. Good night babe.

PS. Cover photo was taken at Colosseum, Italy.

#04: 2017 New Year Resolutions

img_5875I’m thinking to switch my blog into English mode from today onwards. This makes very much sense: I don’t use Vietnamese as a communicative language anymore. By this mean, I hope I could increase my English ability, especially writing skill. Well, I don’t expect much, but certainly as this is a place where I can think and speak to myself, I grant myself a right to do anything I want. In conclusion, English – OK – Off you go! 🙂

So, another year has landed. I have never expected the time to fly this fast. Sometimes, I looked back and wondered what I had done during the past whole year. 2016, to me, was neither a year of success nor a period of self-impression. Nevertheless, it was indeed a year of exploration. It remarked an important milestone that I would have never ever forgotten for the rest of my life: I’m going to study abroad. It was actually a once in a lifetime experience. As you may notice in previous entries, I’m here in Germany for my master degree  🙂  It took me almost a year for application, preparation and, eventually, setting off. Why did I call this year an exploration? Because through these processes could I understand some aspects of myself and many things that I never thought one day I could have achieved. The feelings of preparing my application documents to send off to universities. The moments when I received acceptance letter or rejection letter. The nerves in my stomach when I applied for a EU Schengen Visa. The reminiscence when the departing date approached. The loss that I felt when I said the last Goodbye and gave my family last hugs before going inside the airport. The feeling of the first time going on a long-haul flight. The true relief I had when I put my first steps onto Europe – the land I used to dream of since I was a child. All of them, I will keep all of them at the most solemn place in my heart. I know those memories will never be faded away and accompany with me forever and ever.

Standing on the fringe of the New Year, I hope all the best for myself and promise that 2017 is gonna be another unforgettable year. That’s why I started to write this blog entry and try to make it personal and special. I came up with the below List of 2017 Resolutions and I will try my best to make it real.

So, here is the list!

  1. Move to another city for living on any purpose (internship/studying/working) except Soest and its surrounding areas.
  2. Do exercises everyday to get back in shape.
  3. Stop eating Chocolates everyday. I will restrict the volume of Chocolate I eat to 1 bar a week.
  4. Be able to find a part-time job to support my own living conditions and don’t need any further financial assistance from family.
  5. Be able to communicate fluently and discuss professional topics in English.
  6. Finish B2 German and be able to communicate fluently in daily topics.
  7. Visit at least 03 more countries and 03 more states in Germany.
  8. Be able to learn 01 new thing per day and make a separate entry to jot it down.
  9. Make this blog accessible for others. Currently, it is kept as secret and no one knows I own such blog.
  10. Not necessary, but will be nice to have: I want a love – a long-lasting true love this year. You know, I have been single for too long 😦

They are so-called 2017 New Year Resolutions. I will go back to the list every 3 months to review my progress.

Well, I think that’s enough for the very first blogspot and it’s about time to find an impressive picture to recognize it. Probably it’ll be about the first snow in my life 😉

PS. I don’t realize that writing an English blog is much easier for me now. I’m so surprised and impressed by myself.

#03: Guten Tag!

… 12 tuần đã trôi qua …

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Amsterdam 12.2016 – First visit

Thực ra chỉ mới là 12 tuần thôi mà: tròn 3 tháng chẵn! Nghe 12 tuần sao mình cảm giác ngắn, nhưng nghe 3 tháng thì thấy nó thật dài và đồ sộ. Kiểu như khái niệm “tuần” không thấy dài cho lắm, nhưng khái niệm “tháng” lại đem lại 1 niềm hoang mang vô độ.

Cũng chừng ấy thời gian ở xứ người rồi. Và đây là entry đầu tiên dành cho 3 tháng ở xứ người. Định viết lâu rồi. Tuần nào cũng định hết, nhưng mỗi lần bắt đầu tính gõ bàn phím thì lại không biết bắt đầu từ đâu, bắt đầu thế nào, nghĩ nghĩ  1 hồi sau thì cũng dẹp đi, không nghĩ nữa. Nghĩ nhiều, mệt! Cuộc sống ở bên này cũng đủ làm cho mình cảm thấy mệt mỏi lắm rồi.

Nhớ nhà

Đây quả là cảm xúc chủ đạo của 3 tháng vừa qua.

Nói thật, khái niệm học xa nhà cũng chẳng có gì quá xa lạ với mình. Gần 15 năm từng trải rồi, mà đây là lần đầu tiên thấy cái cảm giác nhớ nhà nó quặn quào thấu xương ngấm cả vào từng tế bào da thịt. Nhớ bố mẹ già cả ở nhà quá đi, nghe ông bà bệnh lên bệnh xuống mà mình xót cả ruột gan 😦 Nhớ anh chị em, cháu chắt các thể loại. Nhớ mấy đứa bạn mất dạy mà mình đảm bảo tụi nó chẳng care cảm xúc của mình. Nhớ đồ ăn, nhớ khí hậu nắng ấm áp, nhớ cái se se lạnh của phố tháng 12, nhớ những kí ức cũ kỉ. Cái đống đó cứ đong đầy trong tiềm thức không thể nào nguôi ngoai được.

Mỗi bài hát là 1 kỉ niệm. Do vậy mỗi lần nghe những bài hát quen thuộc là mình lại nhớ đến những kỉ niệm cũ. Thế có khổ không cơ chứ.

… …

Định bụng sẽ viết 1 note thật dài. Mà đang viết thì bị cụt hứng. Nên dừng tại đây vậy 😐